Awake

I was dreaming.........

I woke up in my room like any other morning

My eyes still heavy from the night

My body still weak

"What time is it?"

As I search for the time I can't help but feel uneasy

Something isnt right

It seems my nightmare has followed me

What can I do?

How do I break away?

As I rest my forehead on my hands dismayed

I remembered.......

A note was written beneath my left wrist.....

I felt the rain drops coming down on me....

Day Dreaming

As I watch the Dam
break and crumble infront of
me, I embrace myself for impact.

The roar of the water taunts me
as it races closer and closer.

"Any second now," I whisper to myself
as I stand with clutched fists.

I can feel the the mist of the raging
water before me, I am ready.

This is it, grining my teeth
to prepare for the worst.

I close my eyes......




but nothing happend.........

I opened my eyes to only see the dam
still standing.

What happend?

Did I imgaine it?

I'd Hate To Say It

So really all you can do is laugh because really, that is ALL you can do.
Its funny to learn more and more about yourself when you believe you know it all through experience.

"Experience"- thats a word I haven't been using properly, well now that I think of it.

I guess in a way I've become accustomed to picking and choosin what I want to use as an excuse of experience to justify my actions and my cause.

And now that I think of my REAL experiences, all I can do is laugh.

So I guess, I'D HATE TO SAY IT, but I shall try and play this silent GAME.

The real silent game

Because in reality silent is not my forte.

And now I laugh hahahahahahah!

Poetry

We're standing at your door
But you never answer
We show you what we can
But you never see it
We give you who we are
But you can't feel it

We ask ourselves what happend
but we can't seem to know why
Even still we keep going
Even still we stay trying
Even still we keep fighting

Is it Me?
Or is it You?

Somethings will never change...


This goes out to all of US.......

Trading places....

"Now I'm gonna do this thing a little different night
Im gonna come over n pick you up in my ride
Im gonna knock then Im gonna wait
Imma take you on a date
Im gonna open your door and Imma reach over n open yours"

Different approach or is it?

Deja Vu......

So I've been experiencing alot of deja vu lately. So much to even getting 2-3 in one day. What is deja vu? Well it's that one momoent you have where you suddenly feel that you experienced it before. Kinda like a replay. Why does it happen? To be quite honest I don't know. But I do remember a story that was once told to me back in highschool. It's a story of how we all have our own guardian angel. Before we are born into this world, our guardian angel would take us on a journey of our life. They would show us everything that we do from the moment of our birth to the moment of our death. After our journey is shown to us our guardian angel would erase that memory of ever seeing it.

I believe that we have all gone through this journey. My proof? Look into the mirror and see that lil indent right above ur lip and right under your nose. As the story goes, it is said that that's the mark our guardian angels leave behind after wiping our memory of our life journey.

So what does this have to do with deja vu? Well Ive read it somewhere that having a deja vu, is a sign that you are going in the right path in life.....

Me having all these deja vu's could only mean that I'm going the right path in life. I only hope this story is true and these statements are true.

But either way true or not, this concept will forever keep me at relief. Because sometimes we all wonder and ask ourselves are we going the right way?

I'm pretty sure some of you may be saying to yourselves " But I don't get deja vu! what does that mean? Im not going the right path?" No No thats not what it means at all.


It just means that you don't need to be shown that you are going through the right path because in one way or another in the back of your head, you know it already.


But for people like me who think alot ahaha needs some sort of affirmation.



Live life to the fullest, take those chances, risk it all if you feel its worth it.

I've been runnin n gunnin with heavy arsenal so I think I'll go hard. Because really I have nothing to lose.......

Mr. poetry (at work ahaha)

It's been a long time since then
Too long for me to remember
Those days when things were simple
But what is the difference now?
It makes perfect sence
I feel like a kid again
Kinda like that schoolyard thing
We are playing a silent game
No rules, no restrictions, just time
It's not a matter of if you can because you can
It's only a matter of if you want to
If you want, let me show you and take you higher
Let my song get you higher
A small voice whispers but you can't hear it
Maybe because everything around you is too loud
An event is taking place place but you can't see it
Maybe because there's so much going on you can't notice it
The beauty of it all is subtle
It means more when seen
It mean more when heard
So right now I embrace the fight
A fight worth losing
Atleast to say I fought the war

So again at most we'll play a silent game...

With no rules, no restrictions, just time......

Mr. Lyricist

hello, its nice to see you, its been awhile since that day I met you
so where did you go and for how long, ive missed you so
its been so hard for me to not see thee, ive been waiting for so long

You knocked on my door and there you were standing infront of me
I couldn't believe what my eyes did see, is this really happening to me........


This is only the beginning.....

Music as my speaker.....

So I'm at work and I'm the only alone and I'm listening to music I brought. One of things that keep my mind at state is music. Music is life, life is music. The different notes that create a melody are the same as the ups and downs of everyday life. Its a beautiful struggle we all must live through because without it there's no meaning to live, which is to learn. We weren't created as perfect creatures but blank slates just waiting to be filled with knowledge.

I for one can say I live through my music and let my music live through me......

There's one song inparticular that im listening to that really acts as my speaker.......

For some reason I'm stuttering and I don't know what's happened to me, I keep stuttering.

Mayb it's a silent game...

Making movements.

3 Gates.....

So its almost 5 in the mornin and Im still up due to my bad habbits. Ive been thinking about my life and where Ive been. When I thought about it there has been 3 gates. The 1st gate I came to was a small gate I only passed through in a short while. From that gate I learned that I wasnt like every other guy. It came to me by surprise. The 2nd gate, again I passed through in a short while. Through gate 2 I learned that things in life never last. The 3rd gate was a special one. I was passing through for a while, I took my time. I took the time to learn about myself and others. I endured what most people would never endured and I stood through the hardest that would usually cause eveyone else to fall.

I took the time to love.....

Spoken story...

so Ive come to realize how much words said from one person to another can affect almost the entire outcome. You meet someone you tell them you love them, then bam they love you and you live on. But what if you didnt say those words to that person...then what?.......she never knows and you regret never trying and the outcome is the total oppsite. But lets change the story and you tell her you love her but she doesnt love you. What happens next is you walk away feeling like a fool and embarassed because sometimes the worst feeling is rejection. What if you didnt tell her? Then that would mean that you keep your dignity and pride and you live your life and meet a new girl. So to say that ignorance is bliss sometimes isnt true, no? Depending on the situation ofcourse. But who really knows what their getting themselves into? Thats the funny part of life. We just don't kno. We take chances and make mistakes. We also keep some words to ourselves becauses in some cases ingnorance IS bliss.

Just another food for thought from a person that has alot in his mind.......

Cold

Sooooo, I have some viral cold goin on and I feel like shittttttttttttttt. To everyone who will see me in the nex few days........BEWARE FOR YOU MAY BE THE NEXT VICTIM!

Standard

So i went to the dealership today with my mother and we talked about me getting a new car. The odds? about 95% chance that I will be trading in my 07 civic for a new 08 civic but manual transmission.

So Ive come to realize that shit we go through in life is the standard life of living. No Pun intended lol But the funny thing about standard is that we do have more control but we just have no idea that we do. (No pun intended) =P

Table for 1....

so Im in class waiting to start. Its the 1st day of english class which I didnt wanna go through. Like cmon its my summer man I need to make that cash n jus chill out. Well.... I kinda did that already ahahaha for like 5 months. Im really only doing this to make the parents happy so whatever. And on top of that its one less class I have to worry about when I start in Sept. So again I say whatever........These days its been alot of whatevers. I kno what your thinking; why dont I care so much these days? Well to be honest with Im not too sure myself. Maybe its beause Im tired of all the shit Ive been through, maybe Im just not in a good mood. Who knows. All I can say is that for some reason I feel like I need to go on hiatas. Ive never done that before. Maybe its something I need. No worries about daily life. Just looking out for number 1. I came across this thought while I was at dinner today by myself. YES I go out alone for dinner, Table FOR 1. Ive been going out alone since I was able to go out in general lol I dont mind I dont feel like a loner. I feel like a lone ranger if anything hah. So to people who always need someone to go out, try going by yourself for once. Its not that bad. You tend to think alot about your life and you may learn a thing or two about yourself. It doesnt hurt :p

All I know for me these days is that my summer we'll get kinda lonesome but hey I dont mind.

Whatever......

On a brighter note I may get a new car with standard transmission so hopefully I will get what Ive been yearning for since I started driving *crossing fingers*

1st Timer

So Im back on the blogging seen muahahahaha. I WAS on livejournal for awhile back in those thought provoking days but I dispatched myself from it. But until my brother Jo Castles convinced me to start up again. SO HERE I AM! News on my life? ALOT Long story short lets just say it was one hell of a ride. Cmon we're talking about 2 years of no blogging so Ill start fresh.

K so Im 20 years old and im STILL goin to debuts! lol And on top of that Im not just attending them but Im part of them! lol its been like that since debuts started which was 2 years ago for me =P A few weeks ago I attended and was a part of Neysa Tumbokuns debut. A day later I start practising for Megan Reyes debut. I swear I think Im king of debuts cuz they keep getting at me ahaha So for megans we have 3 dances. Vienese Waltz, Fox Trot and Tango. Her debut is in september meaning we have a little more then 2 months to learn all 3 dances. The shitty thing is is that ppl have been very inconsistent in showing up and the choreographer just plain sucks at explanations. Another thing is shes trying to force 2 competely different counts together. Meaning, for example, the waltz has a 3 count but the song has a 4 count. so we have to force the 3 count with the 4 count. STUPID you dont force shit like that dancing should be natural lol. cmon lady give these rookies a brake dont make their 1st debut a hard one. Its suppose to be fun and easy and still look great. TRUST ME I KNOW! lol...........a little too much I think.......=P